Thursday evening, after work, I went to church, had a
meeting over coffee and a dinner with a couple of friends. We finished around 1
in the morning and I still have to go to my sister’s house to help with my
niece’s decoration for her birthday party. I came home to my sister’s house 2
in the morning. It is not an ordinary place and it is not accessible by buses
and trains. I was about to take a taxi but a good friend of mine along with
another good friend offered to take me home. It was indeed a very blessed and
favored day/week for me because of the people God had placed in my life and of
His overflowing strength He had provided to sustain all my activities for the
whole week or past days. If I would enumerate what happened lately,…. I don’t
want to enumerate actually.. LOL ^_^
I would tell myself (or pray) that these activities are not
for me alone, Father, but these are for Your Glory and to fulfill Your calling
in my life. I am really grateful for the overflowing strength and wisdom You
had showered me… These strength and
wisdom are not for me to boast about but for me to share with other people. God
has given us gifts not ours to possess or hold unto but for us to be shared and/or
given to someone else.
When I got home 2 in the morning, normally what we would do is
to fix ourselves (change clothes, brush teeth, fix the bed) and sleep, some
would just sleep right away. I knew I was soooo tired but I fixed myself and
went to have my worship and quiet time in the balcony.
I was asking again.. God, when are you coming back. I was
getting rid of all my thoughts, my emotions my will, and especially my fear and
doubts…and just letting His Holy presence consume me. But I know it was not
enough. “I want clearer visitations and clearer communication with You. Take me
to heaven and show me what You want me to do and tell the people.” I was desperate to hear God’s voice. I want an
intimate relationship with Him. I want to laugh with Jesus Christ and
experience His humor.
There were moments that I got lost and came back but I know
I didn’t fell asleep. I opened my Bible and God lead me to Ezekiel. I read 2-3
chapters and I was amazed by His revelations. Ezekiel in his 30th
year saw visions of God. He was then eventually called to be a prophet. I then
told Him, God why 30? I am asking You now. Why do I still have to wait for 4
years? Well, God has given me His answers even before. He would always go back
to the word – Obedience. I have to be obedient to Him then He will then supply
me with the gifts of His Holy Spirit – the supernatural kind of thing – healing
and prophecy.
He also told me the word – Patience. He wants me to enjoy
what I am doing and currently have right now. I didn’t know the explanation why
but I feel that God wants me to enjoy what I have right now is because when the
time comes that He would call me, I
would obey Him and leave everything behind.
I have this strong feeling that God didn’t save me just to
save me for eternal life. He saved me for His purpose.. for a greater calling. My fall was arrested by His Grace. I know the year 2015 would be the year of grace, it
is the time of my equipping (this is one of my prayers points from the latest
prayer and fasting).
As I ended my quiet time that time, I went to rest my body
and listened to worship songs as I fall asleep. It was 4 in the morning, if I
can remember.
I really thankful to God for bringing weekends or the rest
days from work because I am able to have extended time with Him. Now, when I would remember His word, 30 years old? Well, let’s see but this I know for sure –
God will never fail me.
Let me end this post with the song… Arrested by Grace by
WorshipMob
Stuck in the mire of a standard too high
Best efforts have left me weary and dry
From trying to trusting, the weight is released
The cross I am bearing You carried for me
Caught in the crossfire, confusion and doubt
Entrenched in this trial, too weak to dig out
Redemption came running, with righteous decree
"I finished theWORK
, child, so fall into Me... fall into Me"

You call me worthy, shame flooded by Mercy's sea
Forever forgiven, a new life has risen in me
Righteous and holy, sin always and fully erased
Beloved, accepted, my fall was arrested by Grace
From trying to trusting, this weight is released
The cross I am bearing You carried for me
Redemption came running, with righteous decree
"I finished theWORK
, Child, so fall into Me... fall into me"

Adopted by Perfection
You rejected my rejection
Made whole by resurrection...I'm Yours
(COPYRIGHT
© 2014 Integrity's Praise! Music/BMI & Brave World Publishing)
