When Life Seems So Blondie – A Beautiful Mess

I found some pictures which were taken 6 years ago and I guess this will be a great opportunity for me to share my thoughts or my word for the day.

I wanted a perfect brown hair so I bought two packets of bleaching product in Divisoria to start with. Knowing that the process will be the same with other coloring products, I did it myself.

Few minutes later, I noticed a burning sensation in my head. I rushed to the bathroom and rinsed my hair with cold water. As I comb with my fingers, strands of hair start to fall down. I combed again with a proper comb and my hair stretched like a rubber until it broke. My hair is damaged, I want to scream and pull out my hair but no. It’s a total mess.

From straight hair, to curly hair, then blondie damaged hair ^_^

I was able to smile and pose still ^_^

I was not able to sleep that night. The very next day, I went to a salon to get my hair fixed. Chop chop! They cut everything that were damaged. I can’t have another dye so I have to stick with the golden hair. I am not a fan of short hair but I am still very lucky otherwise I’ll be walking bald for a couple of months. LOL

We were living in the province and whenever I go out, people would stare at me, okay, my golden, sun-kissed hair. I was so embarrassed with my hair that I bought clips and put on blue contact lenses so I would look more Tisay. I had to wait for a month before coloring it to a darker one so I told myself, I am going to enjoy it while it lasts.

In life, we make choices without thinking twice. We live a life for our own desire, for our own happiness, for own satisfaction or what we think is important to us. We make decisions in life with no reference point to God. In the end, we would realize that we have done wrong. We would even come to the point that we question ourselves what we have done wrong, what we should have done in the first place, and what am I going to do now when the damage has been done.

I was in that situation thinking that I should have researched first about bleaching your hair on your own. If I did, I wouldn’t be in that messy situation. But life seems to be like that. We just hit the start button right away without looking first at the manuals. We are so confident that we know it all. Anyway, it says start.

I believe that God created us but I can’t say if He created us with manuals. He is God and He doesn’t need manuals. Yes, God created us but He didn’t create us to become His slaves. He wants us to have a relationship with Him. That’s why we call Him, our Father. He loves us so much that He has given us free will - the freedom to choose and to live our lives. It is up to us if we will conform to the patterns of this world or live a life with meaning. (Romans 12:2 NIV). 

I believe that whatever we do, may it be a bad or a good decision, whether we stick to the manuals or not, or whatever mess we are in right now, there’s always better days ahead. Better days might not be here on this earth, but I know there are better days of life after earth. We can always try to fix our lives on our own but that would only be temporary.

I would sometimes look back on my past, my life before Christ. I know how messy my life was before and at some point I would recall parts of my life or decisions I am not proud of. I can’t tell everything in detail, but I can assure you that no matter how messy our life is, no matter how damaged and broken we are, God wants us and loves us no human being can ever compare and measure. 

Our life could be a mess but we are beautiful in His eyes.

nini perion | nini.ph

Rainbow

Did you ever feel that your day is playing games with you?

Yesterday morning, I woke up around 9 and I was hesitant to go out and have my quiet time at the park nearby because we have to be at church at 11. I also thought that I am going to church anyway so missing quiet time this morning would not hurt. But I have that fire in me and someone’s telling me to go even for a few minutes will be enough. My sister was cooking breakfast for us so I headed to the park with my bag and mat. I guess going back by 10am will give me enough time for bath and dressing up.

While walking near the swimming pool and playground area, I put on my earphones and listened to few worship songs, and I started singing. I placed my mat in the big open space near the trees so I have a shade to cover the not so heat of the sun. It’s winter but it is not as cold compared to last year. I started my quiet time with a prayer.

I was thinking to continue with the book I’m currently reading - Life Without Limits but I took Joyce Meyer’s book instead – Start Your New Life Today, an Exciting New Beginning with God. I haven’t opened this book for quite a while so I can’t remember where I had left of. I opened the page where my bookmark is and I was surprised to see what the chapter is about.

It was a about setting aside time to sit and think about God’s word. That thinking about the Word of God should be a regular part of your daily activities. Then, I felt that tiny guilt in myself.

I remembered that I was thinking twice if I will go out and have a quiet time with Him or not. If only I had woken up early or slept early I wouldn't struggle. God, our Father indeed you make me smile today. You are full of humor. I was not expecting this message from Him, but it looks like He is teaching me a lesson.

I read another chapter and went back to the house. None of them had taken a bath and we have to leave in a few minutes. My sister then told me that we will take the next service which is 2 in the afternoon. I was like, okay no one texted me LOL, I wished I had a longer quiet time.

We have 3-4 hours before we leave and go to church. I didn't want to go back to sleeping LOL. So I took brunch and asked my cutie niece, my sister and my mom to go to the park. I brought my bag and mat with me. When we were there, I saw the sprinklers up and I told myself – quiet time part 2 failure. So tomorrow, I will try my luck. It was almost 12 noon. I played with my niece in the playground area and savor being a child again by riding the swing and playing with other small kids.

January 3, 2014. I had attempted to have an earlier quiet time today but failed. I first took my breakfast and when I am about to go I chatted with my good friend in the Philippines. Our chat took like 30 minutes or more coz’ I told her about the preaching yesterday. I told myself that it’s fine, it was a good opportunity to share God’s word with her.

It was almost 12 noon when I left and I hoped I’d have enough shade. I checked the grass if it’s wet. I remembered the sprinklers yesterday and I believe they won’t be showing up today – watering the grass for two consecutive days would be too much, I saw the grass getting drowned yesterday LOL.

So I placed my mat, put my books out - my faith journal, my pens, my water jug, my prayer and fasting 2015 manual and I think I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready. I turned the music off and was about to start with my prayer. I said I need something from Him, I need His Words.  I was reading Romans Chapter 6 and then to my very big surprise the sprinklers came out. I hurried my things inside my bag, took the mat and kept off the grass. My “moment” was ruined. I was like, hey didn't you see me? Well, I think the sprinklers are automatic.

I headed back home coz’ I am wet, my mat is wet. Then, I saw a playground nearby, no one’s playing, and there’s a shade just enough to place my mat. 

I was so happy, so I placed my mat, put my stuffs out and I did my prayer – finally. I was listening to Sinking Deep by Hillsong Young and Free, a worship mob version where in the end one of the guys proposes to his girlfriend. The first part of the video was a prayer. While praying there were soft sweet voices as their background music and I would hear someone singing in tongues. Then I noticed I was also singing in tongue. I felt His Holy Spirit embracing my full body and wants to explode or scream out. My whole body is being electrified. It was my first time… in my mind – Shocks! Ganoon pala yung feeling

Few minutes later, while I was looking up some verses about fasting, the sprinklers showed up again. I hurried my stuffs in my bag and I am soaking wet because it took me some time to realize that it is happening again. I think it’s time to go home. It’s like the devil does not want me to have my quiet time. Like, I should have gone earlier for real.

While I was walking, I saw a streak of colorful lights. I can’t believe it. I saw a rainbow. It’s my first time to see a rainbow near me. Usually, we would see them up in the sky. I smiled. Indeed, God, our Father is amazing. Amidst the struggles I had earlier, He made me smile by showing me the rainbow. The rainbow as sign of His covenant with us (Gen9:13) and for me, a sign that He loves me – saying that it’s okay my child, you can go, we will have more time together soon.

Despite my battle with the sprinklers, it is still an amazing day for me!