A Glimpse on What on Earth Am I Here for?

I am very blessed to have a great family and great friends. I might not have much money to buy all the things I want… well, I have a lot of riches that money can’t buy.

A week ago, I attended a conference. This is not like the career-type of conference etc. It’s actually a Prophetic Conference. Oh, what is that?

To tell you frankly, I do not have an idea at first. My friend told me to attend that conference and I will be seeing one speaker who would tell me God’s vision in my life. This is really something cool but I did not show much interest until I attended my sister’s church for the first time. I had a glimpse of what prophetic means. After the service, I and my two sisters signed up for the conference.

Me..at the first day of conference
view on my Instagram

To give you an idea about it, our speakers are the so-called modern day prophets. They are called by God to deliver His message for a specific purpose. Their gift of prophecy is not for their own growth or own glory, but to give Glory to God.

So Imagine, you knowing “What on earth am I here for?”.

It was a two-day conference and on the last day, our last speaker was Shawn Bolz. You can search him up on You Tube to know more about him and see how anointed he is. Honestly, I don’t have any idea about him before the conference. So I was totally amazed whenever he calls out people and tells them God’s words or visions for them - what are they about to do in the next months or years and how God will use and bless them for His glory. It was like so precise. He calls out people by their name, or by their birthdate or something relevant to them. After the conference, I began searching him up in You Tube.

I am really amazed. There are no words to describe the experience. I have not experienced this in my life and I don’t have any idea before that this kind of people still exists. I had seen miracles and healing, too. Well, if God can do it before (referring to the Bible), He can do the same today.

I was waiting for Shawn (same with the other speakers) to call me, or say something relevant to me. The session was about to end and still I haven’t been called and given a prophecy. Am I not important to you God? Don’t I have a bigger purpose like them? Then, the conference ended.

You might ask me, am I disappointed? Am I disappointed not having a word or visions through them? - I had thought of the same thing. But if God wants me to know His purpose for me, He will give it in His perfect time. It may be through a gifted person or just simply directly to me.

About knowing my purpose on earth? It’s okay. Like what I have been telling my friends lately, I don’t have to be in a church to be called and be used by God. He can use me anywhere. He can use me in my work place, with my family, my group of friends or simply the people around me.

Few days later, a good friend of mine and sister in Christ said she has a word for me. And I was excited for it. Actually it was two words: Purity and Obedience.

I stopped for a while and think about how it relates to my life. Purity, remain pure until I marry that godly husband God designed for His princess. So basically, my next boyfriend should be my godly husband and we both remain pure until we get married. You know what I mean, err? Obedience, just simply continue being obedient to God.

And she also shared me her devotion which made her think of me…

“God is about wholeheartedness! He does not want your heart to be fractured by you putting your hope and trust in uncertainty—someone or something that He did not call you to or assign to you.

So save yourself the distress. Don’t throw the righteous pearls in your heart to pigs. Don’t let the enemy wear you out, disappoint you, diminish your faith or harden your heart through your own foolish choices. If you do, you will struggle to love the promised earthly husband God has chosen for you.

When we wait on God to fulfill the desires He put in our hearts, we plant a seed of honor, we remain true to Him as our First Love, our First Husband, Our Father, Our Friend, Our Lord. And He will faithfully deliver His promises to you His way.

It’s not always easy to wait. So remind yourself that every seed you plant—good or bad—produces a crop. And you will eat the fruit of it.

Choose to put your trust in God alone.‎”

After reading this, I was teary-eyed and I am really thankful to God not only because of this experience but in every situation of my life. See, I did not have a word during the conference but God used other people to deliver His message to me. This message is straight to the point, true and perfect for all God’s princesses. :)

So... WHY the BIBLE?

This week was a very busy week for me. I stayed late in the office for three consecutive nights. I missed the train the other night and I had to walk for 40 minutes. I was walking with my eyes closed sa sobrang pagod at antok that night. I don't want to take a taxi kasi sayang and walking is my form of exercise anyway. This weekend, I had training in church, watched a volleyball game, went and serve at church and went to the hospital to visit and pray for my friend’s mother. Although my days were full, I was able to do my usual activities like walking and reading spiritual books.

These past few days, I also took some time off with my Instagram and Facebook account. I am still checking the personal messages but not the newsfeed. I have a lot of stuff in my mind to blog about, too. But really, I don’t have enough time. I sleep late like 1 or 2 a.m. and still my time awake is not enough for the things I want and love to do.

So now, I am writing again but not about Maldives. There are few people who are waiting for my next post about Maldives. I will post about it very soon. I hope it will be worth the wait LOL :D

Okay…

I am writing because of the books that I bought and haven’t read yet. Okay, I have read some but haven’t completely read them yet.

I am not an avid reader or patient with finishing a whole book. I was able to finish the Twilight series. Imagine. Those are four books! So, that’s already an accomplishment. I was so hooked at it that I even asked my mother who was working in USA to buy me the hardcover version.

So here are the books that I bought for the past months (or maybe even years???). Some of them I have started already like the Purpose Driven Life, How to be a Secure Woman, and the Five Languages of Apology but haven’t finished yet.

Currently, I am reading Start Your New Life Today by Joyce Meyer and my Quest Study Bible for Teens (okay, I am not a Teen anymore hehehe) and I am still in the book of Genesis. I am taking it slow and I am in love with it. Some people find it hard to understand what is written in the Bible. Some words are too deep and a dictionary will be your next best friend.

This time, it’s different. This Bible is fun to read and makes me want to read more and more each night. I am actually limiting myself to one to three chapters a night. Otherwise, I will be puyat (lack of sleep) because I have to wake up early for work. My normal sleeping hours is from 2am to 7:30am (okay, so alam niyo na bakit lagi ako late sa office).

My Bible has this side column notes which is a question based notes that clarify the meaning of the Bible text/s and the articles below that help explain the practical meaning of the Scripture. It has 3 courses reading plans. I chose course no. 3, Every Word of the Bible which has a time commitment of three years. (Oh my! Three years?!)

Sometimes, the notes and the articles will provide other books /verses in the Bible which I ended up jumping books rather than sticking to one book only. That’s why I would end up more puyat (ehehe) and stuck in Genesis LOL :)

So……… WHY the BIBLE?

There are so many books out there that you will get addicted to and you would want all your free time spent on reading it. ( I cannot blame you if you are one of  them J ) Some books are for knowledge or you need to read it because you need to learn from it like for studying people. Mostly, it’s because of for entertainment purposes. By the way, I started to buy Condé Nast Traveller ME magazine every month (Traveller Wannabe LOL).

So, it started when I was having a Christianly conversation with my sister and my cousin. They opened up about the end of the world and if you read the book of Revelation, you can tell that it is near and is happening. Scary right? They said that it will take 1000 more years for the last days of men (judgment day) and we (me, my sister, and my cousin) are dead by that time.

I am scared. I admit I am bit scared of dying. Still, I don’t have to worry about it or let fear overcome me. Because I know life on earth is just a preparation for an eternal life with our Father and I know I will be saved. (Eph 2:8-9)

I got curious. I want to read Revelation. I want to know the truth. I want to know what I will expect in the next coming years. Off course, I would not jump on reading the book of Revelation without me reading the other books. Otherwise, my blood will run cold. I told myself that I have to prepare my heart and I have to start in the beginning, the book of Genesis.

That night, I was doing my usual steps (walking) very late in the evening; I realized that in my 26 years of existence I have never completely read the Bible. I have read a lot of books (nursing books J) and articles but His Words was not a priority in my reading list. Ouch! Ouch for someone who gave His Only Son to die for our sins and save us from the curse of sin (death!).

One time at church, our pastor spoke about the Grace of God. Yes, God’s grace saves us (Eph 2:8-9) and then he asked us, at the end of the day…DO YOU HAND AROUND WITH JESUS?

OMG! (Oh, My Gulay!)

I was shocked. I am guilty.

I love God. I want to have a deeper relationship with Him and a stronger foundation. Going to church, serving at church, singing praises, meeting with my small group (Bible Study Group) will not provide me a deeper relationship with Him and a stronger foundation. It is through His words which are written in the Bible and doing what you had read/heard.

Right then and there, I told myself that I will do it, Lord. I love you and I want you to be in my life, 24/7. If I am able to commit my time on other worldly things and desires, I know I could commit myself in spending time with You. At the end of the day, I am who I am because of the grace of God.

So, I had committed my last hour before retiring for the day for His Words. If I am not able to read the Bible because of too much exhaustion and I cannot control myself anymore not to sleep, I make sure I compensate by reading the next day in the morning.

There was a time that Bible Verse challenge became a trend in Facebook. Someone will nominate you to post your favorite Bible verse and then you will nominate your friends to do the same. It’s really nice to see my Christian friends, workmates, and friends posting their favorite Bible verses. But there’s something that is lingering in my mind while I read their posts. Has this person ever read the Bible? Well, who knows? Only God would know. Well, I hope they are or I hope they would do so.

One day I was with my small group leader and she told me that some people are hesitant to read the Bible or join a Bible Study group. It is because they would know the truth. They would know what is morally right and wrong. They would know what is pleasing and not to God. They would struggle – knowing the truth and doing it or not.

Well for me, I haven’t completely read the Bible and I am in progress of doing so. I am also a Christian in progress. I know I was a hypocrite Christian. A hypocrite Christian is someone who knows the truth and yet doesn’t do it.

At some point in my life, I did struggle so much on something. And that something is not hard to remove because it became a lifestyle. My mind and my heart don’t seem to cooperate much with God’s word. I asked the Holy Spirit that dwells in me to remove that something because me, myself cannot do it alone. And I am so glad that I am over with it now. It’s effortless. I am not struggling anymore. Thanks God for His grace.

So if you had read my blog until this part, I challenge you to read the Bible. Yes, it is not easy because the devil will love you to spend time more on worldly things instead of God’s Words. So take a big leap of faith, and just do it!

How I ended up travelling solo in Maldives

There’s no better way for me to start this blog than to write about my recent trip to the honeymooner’s paradise…MALDIVES

First of all, I am not here to brag about my trip to Maldives. I am just an average person with an extraordinary courage to share her life experiences thinking that one day someone will benefit or will be inspired by her posts.

So here goes my first blog….

A day before my 26^th birthday, I came back to UAE from a trip to Maldives. It maybe just one ordinary trip outside the country but this is something I would cherish my whole life.

Travelling alone as a single woman in a honeymooner's paradise is 

one of the bravest challenge I would be doing in my entire life. 

And also, one week from now, I'll be turning 26. 

Cheers to a more mature and more independent me. 

Post from my Instagram account few hours before my flight, August 2, 2014

So I went to Maldives alone. Others might think that I am lonely and depressed, or doesn’t have enough friends, doesn’t have family etc. But hey! I do have friends, a lot! And I have a very nice and loving family.And definitely I am not depressed! So why in the first place would I go solo?

Few months back, a close friend of mine and I purchased a package tour online. We got it on a pretty reasonable price. The package consists of 3 nights hotel stay with return flight and transfer. You can check their site and see the packages they’re offering, Holiday Factory

We are so excited of this trip that we even enrolled in a gym to shed a few pounds and took swimming lessons! Well, I am not a good swimmer unlike my friend. I don’t go far or dare myself to swim if my feet can’t touch the ground. I would also wear a life vest if I would want to swim in the middle of the ocean. I told myself, I need to enjoy this trip and I want to swim with the fishes and go snorkeling without a life vest.

It took me 4 sessions of swimming in the pool before I tried the open water. My ever kind and patient coach took me for open water swimming. He picked me up at 5:30 in a Saturday morning and we practice in an open beach here in Dubai. And oh my, the salt water did hurt my throat. I thought it would be easy now. Well, it’s a nice experience so that I know what I will face in Maldives. He also taught me some underwater swimming skills and how to dive with your snorkels still on your mouth. I conquered my fear of swimming beyond my height (like 20 feet deep) and got to touch a sea urchin, too!

A week before our flight, my friend and I did our shopping (I will later write a list of the must bring items). While at work preparing my handover (I will be gone for a week only :D), my friend asked me if we can postpone our trip. And I was like (in my mind only), are you kidding me?! After all those preparations and excitement you want to cancel our trip?! She told me that she needs to go home to Philippines due to a family matter…then, I was like…………totally

S-P-E-E-C-H-L-E-S-S

That day I feel like crying.  I cannot postpone my leave. I have planned for this leave since last year and I cannot go on the other days as well. My teammates are scheduled to leave on the coming weeks. There’s no way for me to cancel this leave and I had scheduled this trip a week before my birthday!

All those preparations and excitement were filled with ??? I don’t know if I will get angry or upset. I really don’t know how to react. I cannot concentrate with my work anymore. I feel so helpless. I don’t want to hurt her with my words so I chose not to talk to her about the matter until she had made her final decision. I again wanted to deactivate my Facebook account but I thought it’s very immature of me to do. So, I told her that if I didn’t see her at the airport then only I would know that she had decided not to come with me.

That night I went to see another good friend of mine and talked about the situation. Then, I did my usual late night walking listening to Christian songs. I told myself, am I being selfish? Yes, I am selfish because I am only thinking about my feelings, my comfort, my happiness, myself!  I even asked God why. Why did you let this happen? All these preparations and excitement will end up on me travelling alone. I am not prepared for this. Why on my birthday? Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

I cannot blame my friend.

Nobody wants this to happen to us.

As I always tell myself, we cannot control the situation. 

We can only control our reactions.

I put myself in my friend’s situation. We are both in pain and upset, but I know it is more painful on her part. Yes, so damn painful and I am only aggravating her pain. I am a friend and I should understand and comfort her. I should not be thinking of myself only, my own happiness.

It’s close to midnight and I was still walking outside. I left messages in her Facebook. Don’t worry… Don’t worry, I will be fine alone. Don’t worry, Maldives is just there. Your family needs you more. Don’t worry about the money, we can always earn money…and she said, thank you.

From that moment, something dark and heavy escaped from my heart. All those worries and panting were gone. I was able to smile and breathe freely again.

Now that I had accepted wholeheartedly that I am travelling solo, I didn't tell my mom right away because I don’t want her to worry about me and get a heart attack. LOL. A day before my flight, I finally told her and good thing she was okay with it. No negative and worry reactions like she does most of the time. (peace ma :P)

Few hours before my flight, I was feeling both excited and nervous. I was like in mixed emotions, another friend of mine quoted that it feels like I’m getting married. I don’t know what will happen with me there. Will I end up eaten by a shark? Is it my fate to die in the ocean? I don’t know anyone in Maldives. Will I still enjoy this trip?

I am filled with questions in which I do not have the answers for. Worry is dominating my body again. So I just lift everything to God and I told Him, that I trust Him and He will not abandon me. I am her precious daughter and I know that He would not let anything bad happen to me.  I even asked my sister to pray for me. She told me that I don’t need one because I am already guided by God. Hmmmm… she’s right. I don’t need to worry. I don’t need to be afraid.

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in You."

 Psalms 56:3

Newbie

...So I created a blog again. I am not soooo good in writing. I did blogging before but all I post was crap. Sorry for that. Well, let's see how this new blog of mine will go. Wish me luck! ^_^